Sunday, November 7, 2010
All about My Father
All about My Father By Bissme S
Love is not enough to keep my mother happy. My father failed to understand that. He was utterly shocked when she wanted to end their marriage.
“Do not leave me…I will change… I will become a better man… I will change… I will change,” my father kept begging my mother.
Truly, there was nothing to change. There was nothing wrong with my father. He had been a great father, a great husband and a great lover. He had showered my mother with love, laughter and happiness.
Most women would die to have a man like my father as their husbands. But my mother was not like most women. She wanted more out of life. Simple happiness is not for everyone.
The first time my parents met was in a college. My father was studying to be a chef while my mother was grooming to be a painter. For my father, it was love at first sight. But love had no place in her life.
My mother wanted to be a painter to that is respected, admired and emulated. She wanted to be best in the world of arts. And my mother believes, to be the best, you need to put a total commitment to your craft… You need to make some sacrifices… You cannot have time for love.
She wanted to dedicate her life to arts and nothing must distract her from her goal. Especially love. She had seen thousand women given up their dreams in the name of love. They ended in an apron and making cookies for their husbands and children. My mother determined that she was not going be one of those women.
My mother send back all my father‘s love letters, unopened. All his gifts ended up in a dustbin. All his dinner offers met with rejection. But nothing my mother did could dissuade my father. He was determined to win my mother’s love…he was determined to make her as his wife….he was determined to make her the mother of his children.
My mother found his determination to be appealing, attractive and extremely sexy. In the end, my mother gave in to temptation of love and allowed my father to dance into her heart. It was the biggest mistake my mother did in her life. My mother should have stayed away from my father. My mother should have stayed away love. My mother should have known that some women are not made for love.
My grandmother hated all the men my mother had dated. She never stopped finding faults in them. No one was good enough for her darling daughter. But the scenario was totally different with my father. They immediately shared a close rapport. They can talk for hours. She wanted him as her son-in-law.
“I can see in his eyes, he is madly in love with you,” my grandmother told my mother. “Marry him and you will be very happy. The greatest happiness in life is to love and be loved. ”
Foolishly, my mother trusted her every word. My mother should have learned that mothers are not always right and some women are not made for love.
It cannot be denied my father and I had brought joy into her life. But the joy was not enough to satisfy her. She constantly felt restless like a vampire who has runs out of her blood supply. The mediocrity of our lives was choking her to death. My mother was like a volcano of frustration that was waiting to erupt.
Her career as a painter had not reached to greater heights the way she had hoped for. She was not as famous as she dreamt to be. That has builds a lot of frustrations and disappointment in her. She had won awards. The media had covered her intensively. She had successful art exhibitions. But that was not enough. She had bigger dreams.
She wanted her works to be exhibited in New York art museums. She wanted to be in the covers of foreign art magazine. She wanted to appear in international talk shows. In short and simple, she wanted greatness. And greatness has not come knocking at her door.
“This country doesn’t appreciate talent,” my mother said.
“As long as you have no money, you won’t get anywhere in this stupid country.”
My father had failed to see the frustration dancing in my mother’s soul. Men can’t never fully understand what goes on in a woman’s heart. But I was a woman. And seeing frustration dancing in someone’s soul can be an unpleasant affair.
God was kind to my mother. God didn’t want her to die as a frustrated woman. God send Eliot Gold into my mother’s life. Eliot Gold was my mother’s ticket to the life she wanted, a life of greatness. Eliot Gold was an insurance man who had built a business empire that worth millions.
First, he was attracted to my mother’s art works. But once he met my mother, he loved the painter more. He wanted my mother at all cost. When a rich man goes hunting, he rarely returned home, empty handed.
My mother was not in love at Eliot Gold but his wealth was difficult to resist. She knew Eliot Gold could be the genie that fulfilled all her dreams. And more than anything else in the world, she wanted her dreams.
In all her life, my mother had loved one man and that man happens to be my father. But not all love stories should have a happy ending.
With Eliot Gold’s wealth and powerful connections, my mother left no stones unturned. She used every opportunity to make all her dreams come true. She wanted greatness. She went out there in full force, grabbed greatness by its neck and never let greatness slipped from her hand.
She had several successful art exhibitions in America and all over Europe. She was featured in many prestigious art magazines. She was labeled as the Frida Kahlo of the East. Indeed when you have money and power at your finger tips, you can even make the most ridiculous dreams come true. And my mother dreams were far from ridiculous. She was no longer a volcano of frustration. Life was a bed of roses for my mother.
But it was totally different scenario with my father. My father became a tortured soul. He can’t stop loving my mother. He was obsessed in getting back the wife that he had lost.
“Annabel, I will get back your mum and we will be one big happy family,” he told me.
My father sent countless love letters to my mother, begging her to come back to him. My father had succeeded in winning my mother’s heart in college and he believed he will succeed again. But my father had forgotten my mother is not the same women any more. My mother had not allowed love to rule her heart any more. All my father’s letters were returned to him, unopened.
“Your mother wants so much of money and I will get her the money she wants,” he said to me.
“I will become richer that bastard who stole your mom away from me.”
Soon enough, his house was flooded with self help books that were supposed to make my father, a millionaire. Amazingly, none of the self help books worked. My father died almost penniless, and with a broken heart
More than a year has passed. My father had no choice but to face the bitter fact he has lost the woman he loved forever. It was a lost that drove him mad… It was a lost that he cannot digest…. It was a lost that brought him so much misery. And one evening he decided to end his misery. My father went to the nearest railway track. He got undressed. Completely naked, he ran towards a moving train.
When my mother first heard about my father’s death, she was devastated. She spends most of her time in bed, with tears streaming down from her eyes. But with time my mother learned to cope with her sadness… She learned to forgive herself… She learned there is a price for everything and nothing in life comes free. The price for her success is that she has droved the man she loved to his death.
Her greatest fear now is that I would hate her. I would blame her for my father’s death. Most mothers do not want their children to hate her and my mother was no different.
Truly, my mother has nothing to worry. I do not hate her. I do not blame her. If she didn’t want my father as her husband, I didn’t want my father as my father. I wanted a man like Eliot Gold as my father. Like my mother, I wanted a life where all my dreams come true and only men like Eliot Gold can give me the life I wanted. All my father can give me is love. But love is not enough to keep me happy …