Dirty Desire

Dirty Desire By Bissme S



I wanted a man to fall madly in love with me and then, I will betray him in the worst possible manner. This desire has been playing in my mind since I was young. I cannot give any rational reasons for this desire.
But I am sure that many psychologists would jump to conclusion that a man had betrayed me and now I have become a heartless monster who wants revenge at any price, and my revenge is I want to betray an innocent man. The psychologists would scream that what is happening is a vicious cycle.
But believe me, I was not betrayed. And no unspeakable tragedies have taken place in my life that turned me into a heartless monster. If any thing I had a wonderful life. I cannot ask for a better life.
The problem with many psychologists is that they like to give justification to every dirty desire the human race has. But sometimes a desire is just a desire and there is not justification for some desires, and life is not just about vicious cycle.
For many years I have suppressed this desire of mine. I have tried to be a normal human being with normal desires. But I was miserable. Outside I was smiling but inside I was a restless tortured soul. Silently, I was screaming in pain. Slowly, I was losing my mind. Desperately I want my misery to end. Desperately I want my pain to end. Desperately I want my sanity back.
I learned the only way I can be happy and have some peace of mind if my desire becomes a reality. My desire cannot be suppressed, any more. My desire must be fulfilled at any price.

*****
The first thing I did was to sell off everything I owned and move to a smaller town where no one recognized me. I lied everything about me from my name to my hair colour.
I pretended to be a copywriter, attached to a well-known advertising agency. I was tired of the city and was looking for a quiet life, far from madding crowd.
My neighbours did not suspect anything suspicious. It didn’t take me long to win their hearts. I have the kind of face that people will trust and love easily. Now come the hardest part. I had to pick a man whose heart I would break …whose trust I would betray.
After many month of searching, I found my perfect victim. His name is David Smith and he is a widower with four teenage daughters. His wife died in a terrible car accident. It was my close neighbour Mrs Jenkinson, who pointed him out while we were shopping.
Mrs Jenkinson told me the story of his life and the story of everyone who stays in this town. She is a walking encyclopedia of this town. She knows everything that takes place here
David has been a widower for five years. He and his late wife Carole was a perfect couple. They loved each other deeply. David believed no one could take Carole’s place in his heart. Of course I was determined to change that. I was determined to prove him wrong. I was determined to make him love me.
I learned that every Saturday, David and his four children would visit the library. The love for reading is one habit that father and daughters shared in common. So I got a job as a librarian. I wanted our first meeting to be spontaneous. The first time we talked, I complimented him on his beautiful and well- behaved daughters. The compliment was enough to win any father’s heart.
On their subsequent visits to the library, David and I began talking more and more .It didn’t take him long to ask me out for a date. Slowly David was falling in love with me. I didn’t only win David’s heart but also the heart of his four teenage daughters. His children were jumping with joy when I agreed to marry David.
I really believed love can make a fool out of you and David was the perfect example. He really believed ours would be a love story with a happy ending. But I was determined that our love story can have everything except a happy ending.

*****
Six months after our marriage I decided to put my plan into action. It was time for my desire to become a reality. David’s happiness was at the highest point and this was the best time to betray him.
Besides, I was getting a little too tired playing the perfect wife, the perfect mother and the perfect lover, and staying in this small town. I desperately wanted a change of scenery.
It was time for me to throw away my disguises and be what I am, a betrayer. Some people are just born to be a betrayer.
David was looking for a second chance at happiness, love and marriage. But all he would get is misery.

*****
It was like any ordinary day in our household. David left for his work. Like always I would drive his daughters to their schools. We got into the car but we didn’t head to their schools.
Instead I took them to the airport. We entered a plane that took us far away from where we came from. Surprisingly, his daughters didn’t show any signs of fears. If anything they were excited about the trip that we were taking. Children are easily pleased and are less suspicious.
I can understand their excitement. It is their first time to be inside a plane. It is their first time to be so far away from their hometown. I had convinced them that their father would be meeting us as soon as we booked into our hotel rooms.
His daughters didn’t suspect that I had an ulterior motive. Once we arrived at our destination, I took his daughters to a brothel that specialized in child prostitution.
I left them there to suffer. My hand was full of cash. They have paid me for bringing his children there. As I walked away from the brothel, I was pleased with myself. A big smile formed on my face.
I can imagine the scenario that is taking place in David’s house right now. He would reach home and he would be extremely worried when he cannot find us anywhere. Police would be called. Missing report would be made.
A few hours later, the police would tell him the terrible truth – that everything I have told him was a lie including my name being Patricia Cook. He would felt betrayed.
Indeed my desire had become a reality. I had betrayed a man who loved me with all his heart. I was no longer a tortured soul. Tonight, I can finally sleep, peacefully.


*****
Footnote: Five years has gone by, there is still no news on David’s daughters. The police have given up any hope that David will see his daughters again. But not David .
He told to a reporter with The Sun newspaper: “I believe God is great. God will listen to my prayers and return my daughters into my arms some day. God will not rob me of my children. God is not that cruel. God is not that heartless. God is great.”